Are you ready for some......................PICTURES???

I bet you thought that I was going to say football. I DREAD football season with all of my heart. To a point I think that Matt's sport obsessions are cute, however they are so overdone they have lost their cuteness. I will however always support him watching his teams. I just don't get it; men feel the need to watch every other team playing as well because for some reason if they don't watch the all the other teams too (and not just find out the score at the end) then when their team plays them they will not be properly prepared. As if their personal watching has something to do with their team winning. Then after the game they have to listen to them talk and analyze the whole already ridiculously long game that they just watched. Ok, I am done.

I decided to finally update my blog since a few little birdies (Candice and Allison) whom I will not mention by name have been bugging me about it. Ha! I am just going to post a bunch of pics and I will post some videos next time.

Most recent pic of Myla. After she turned 3 months. She is almost 3 1/2 months now.

Below are pics of Myla's blessing. It was such an amazing and perfect day. We are so blessed to have her and she is the perfect addition to our fam!




My sister in law bought the girls little sister and big sister shirts. I am obsessed with them!
My friend Candi came to visit with her little guy Mason and we went to the beach and had a great time.
We went to DisneyLand and had an AWESOME time!!!
Matt and Madeline went on a Maddie, Daddy date to DQ. She obviously had an amazing time!
Madeline's BFF's

Madeline for some reason found this hat and said that it was Jesus's hat. I LOVE what this girl comes up with.

My Wish List. It's not too much is it :)

My Birthday is coming up July 27th and this Thursday is Matt's and my wedding anniversary, so I thought I would come up with a wish list. This is purely a WISH list that will definitely remain a WISH most likely, however it is fun to dream sometimes don't you think?

1)My first and most greatest desire is to get a pass to this gym: click here. It is literally right around the corner from our house and it is beautiful don't you think? I want to lose this prego weight asap, it is driving me nuts. I just want to be normal again and back in shape. Of course to look good, but mainly just to feel myself again.

2)Get a necklace made from this site: click here. I want one heart to say Madeline and one to say Myla. I think they are so beautiful and want one so bad. This is probably one of my few realistic desires, however patience is a virtue right?

3)I want to go to Magic Mountain with my Dad for the day.

4)I want to take Maddie to Disney Land for the day; just me and her, or the three of us and get a babysitter for Ms. Myla. I just really think that she deserves a day alone with Mom and Dad. She has had a hard time adjusting to the new sister, but has done a wonderful job of it and we are so proud of her and I always want her to know how much we are obsessed with her.

5)I want this tent for the beach: click here, or here, or here. The last one is my favorite. I think it would make life at the beach so much easier, especially going with our new little one.

6)I just want to go after prego clothing shopping. My wardrobe is slim and has lost its excitement. After you have a kid you do not feel the most attractive, so it is nice to get some cute, and yes vain, things in your wardrobe (I don't mean vain as in expensive, just new) to make yourself feel a little better.

So, those are my desires. I must sound like the most selfish girl, but again, they are just wishes, I do not expect them to come true, at least for now. I have some even bigger wishes like going on a trip alone with my hubby, however since I am nursing those dreams will have to wait for a while and I could go on and on about my dreams to travel everywhere with him. Matt is the best travel buddy. I hope you enjoyed.

What do you want??? I love to hear other ideas.

Reader/Viewer Warning: Detailed birth story with a detailed picture (not of me of course).

So, I have been asked on several occasions to write about my birth story. I always like to hear other people birth stories, so I can understand the inquiries. I decided I would appease those who asked and blog about it. However, I do want to apologize for any gross details and pics. I am probably giving a lot more info than some were looking for, but it just how I am and most of you should know that by now. I am not forcing you to read, or look, so honestly I don't feel all that bad :)

So, I was hopefully going to go into labor naturally, but we scheduled an induction date for about 4-5 days after my due date just in case. They ended up calling me and told me that we had to up the date since there was another lady who actually had a medical reason for needing the date I had chosen. The date was changed to May 24th, the day after I was due. This was not ideal for Matt's work schedule, since his boss (who I am not the biggest fan of) only let him have 3 days off. However, I was not sad to get that baby out of me, I was soooooooooooo uncomfortable and so sick of people telling me how big my belly was. I did not get that big with Maddie, so it was annoying.

I went in at 7am to be induced. I was dilated at a 4 already, so I was doing really well. However, Myla did not want to come down, which was the same problem with Maddie. I was at a -1 forever. I insisted that they have the epidural ready if they were going to give me the petocin. The anestegiolagist was busy, so they said I would have to get the petocin and then the epidural a little later. I still pushed it and my nurse was awesome, so she made sure he came quickly. I got the petocin and then the epidural about 2-3 hours later. I forgot to mention that they broke my water first thing at about 8:30am. The contractions were pretty painful, but totally tolerable. The epidural was AWESOME! It kicked in right away and it was not like the first time. I could still totally move my legs and feel all the pressure. I loved it, cuz I still knew what was going on.

I quickly progressed to a 10, but I don't remember what time it was. Myla was coming down, but they told me that I was really going to have to push hard for this one to come out. I literally pushed with everything I had. Towards the end they were pretty sure they were going to have to get that vacuum thing and suck her out. I DID NOT WANT THIS! I pushed so hard that I have to say that my doc was pretty shocked. I tore pretty bad where I had my episiotomy the last time. I was really bleeding a lot as well, so the doc was pretty concerned. I guess that I spraid blood all the way across the room onto the wall. Pretty nasty.

Myla's shoulder ended up getting stuck on my bones as well, so we were not having any luck getting her out. I was still determined though and gave it all I had and their she came, flying out after about an hour of pushing at 12:47pm. She was 8lb 1oz and 19 inches long. Since, most of you have seen my midgetness, you know that is a pretty big baby for me.

I also forgot to mention that when I was prego the doc found an extra lobe inside of me. They were concerned because they were not sure if the umbilical cord was going into that lobe instead of the baby. They checked things out further and it turned out to be fine and the lobe was not affecting me, nor the baby. The doc just told me that they were going to have to do quite a bit of digging around after I had the baby, therefore she was relieved to know I was getting an epidural.

So, once the baby was out she had to be down there for about 45 min or so. She was sewing and digging. She first brought out my placenta that Myla was in. It was HUGE, she said. She said that Myla had quite the condo inside of me. Then it was time to get my lobe out. It turns out that I had an extra placenta. It was also enormous and the doc was very surprised. She had never seen anything like that and it was definitely not normal. I asked her if it was possible that I was prego with twins. She said she could not say yes or no and that they would never really know, or be able to tell. However, all that stuff inside of me explains why my belly got quite large in the end she explained.

Matt was absolutely wonderful through the whole birth. With Maddie he held one of my legs, but this time he kind of just cheered me on, while the nurses were holding onto me. I liked it that way too, I felt like he could enjoy the moment a little more that way and I could enjoy it with him. He said that this time he got a little more emotional maybe cuz he got to witness more, than have to work. He really made me feel good the whole time though and he always handles everything with such calmness.

Afterwards I kept throwing up and I swelled up like no tomorrow. The doc and nurses were pretty concerned and said I had to stay an extra day, which was fine. They agreed that I set the record for being the most swollen (down stairs if you know what I mean) that they have ever seen. I was in A LOT of pain, even more this time around. I have to say that this recovery has been a lot more difficult for me than the first time. The bones that Myla got caught on are constantly aching and the pain wont go away. I am mending though and doing A TON better.

Myla is sooooooooo beautiful and we love her very much. She has only been here a little over 2 weeks and I already feel like she has always been here. Having children and the very moment of giving birth is a huge reminder to me what an incredible gift and power our Heavenly Father has given us; the ability to create human life, and it IS NOT TO BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED. I absolutely just love my girls :)

I am posting pics of the placenta's (they are super nasty, so again don't look if you don't want to be really grossed out) below and then of someone a lot more beautiful; Myla.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO MY MOM AND ALL THE OTHER WOMEN WHO HAVE SET AN EXAMPLE TO ME!!!

Some fav quotes and scriptures:

"Young women, your mothers adore you. They see in you the promise of future generations. Everything you accomplish, every challenge you overcome brings them pure joy. And likewise your worries and heartaches are their worries and heartaches."

"And so, my dear young women, with all my heart I urge you not to look to contemporary culture for your role models and mentors. Please look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow. Model yourselves after them, not after celebrities whose standards are not the Lord’s standards and whose values may not reflect an eternal perspective. Look to your mother. Learn from her strengths, her courage, and her faithfulness. Listen to her. She may not be a whiz at texting; she may not even have a Facebook page. But when it comes to matters of the heart and the things of the Lord, she has a wealth of knowledge. As you approach the time for marriage and young motherhood, she will be your greatest source of wisdom. No other person on earth loves you in the same way or is willing to sacrifice as much to encourage you and help you find happiness—in this life and forever."

"Throughout the history of the world, women have always been teachers of moral values. That instruction begins in the cradle and continues throughout the lives of their children. Today our society is bombarded with messages about womanhood and motherhood that are dangerously and wickedly wrong. Following these messages can put your daughters on the path to sin and self-destruction. Your daughters may not understand that unless you tell them or, better, unless you show them how to make good choices. As mothers in Israel, you are your daughters’ first line of defense against the wiles of the world."

“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say” (see Ralph Keyes, The Quote Verifier [2006], 56).

“Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest” (Joshua 1:9)

"But the home is the most important place to prepare the youth of today to lead the families and the Church of tomorrow. It rests upon each one of us as mothers and fathers to do all we can to prepare our youth to be faithful, righteous men and women. It is in the home where we must teach the gospel by precept and by example."

For the entire talk go here.

I feel like I am drowning.

I know this may be totally unnecessary and whiney of me to post here, but I really felt the need to, so sorry if I depress everyone, but I needed to vent somewhere.

I have been so torn lately. Sometimes I feel like we really just can’t win, but on the other hand I am so incredibly blessed and really should feel like I have nothing to complain about. I’ve really tried to keep positive, I really have, but there are moments where I feel like I have lost it and just can’t handle it and I want to just stand in the middle of the street and SCREAM!

When Matt lost his job in UT it was a little freaky. It was when we were trying to get pregnant, and we were not pregnant quite yet. I have to say that it was a blessing that we were not quite yet, due to the lack of insurance. We received no severance package, so that kinda sucked, but we were going to be ok. Matt quickly got a job offer in NM about two months after losing his job. So, sweet for the job offer, but suck, NM, are you kidding me.? We went and checked it out and while the scenery is nothing to be desired the people were absolutely AMAZING! So, onto NM right, a new start, a better job, and a bigger house to rent and definitely pretty low cost of living. We were there two months. I was still struggling a little, feeling a little lonely, but trying to keep my head up. We found out we were preggo there and we were happy since our insurance would kick in after 30 days of Matt’s job.

It’s now Nov. and hubby comes home early, he lost his job AGAIN. This was after working there for 2 months. Crap, no insurance now, what will I do for this poor baby on the way. Madeline, what if she gets sick, what should we do? It will work out, it always does, right??? My amazing husband gets on the phone immediately looking for jobs. I go home to CA to hang out with the fam in the mean time and wait for what is to come. Matt interviews EVERYWHERE; NM, UT, CA. He gets two offers in CA. SSSSSSWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT! Life is looking good, that has always been my dream to move back to where both of us are from and be with our families and live near the beach and raise my children with some diversity.

However, the job is not quite the money that we need to live in such an EXPENSIVE state. We’ll take it anyway, cuz Matt will excel at it, we will get insurance and we can stay with my parents for a while till we save up some dough.

My parents then find this short sale that I think that we can afford. We go for it!!! Wow, a house in CA! So expensive by comparison to our previous places we lived, but doable and worth it in the long run. The house is a short sale, so it needs some TLC. We anticipated the basics, but as we got into it there was A LOT more work than anticipated. CRAP, can we afford this? We ended up doing a lot of the work ourselves to save money, but still it was SO much more than we ever would have expected.

However, I can’t even begin to explain the INCREDIBLE generosity that we received from Matt’s friends, my parents and Matt’s parents. Friends and fam were constantly coming over to help paint and help with the work and moving and everything. I did not feel that we were worthy of so much generosity. How could I complain about anything, considering what everyone has done for us? I want to pay everyone back and thank them so much, but WE CAN’T and it bugs me so much.

We are about to have a baby in like 2 weeks and I am just not happy. Matt’s boss is being a total butt about things. She chooses him out of everyone to pretty much threaten his job and make life miserable everyday and make him feel like he is not doing good enough. He works soooooooooooo hard. He is an amazing, patient husband, an incredible father, and will do anything to provide for his family. I keep thinking, “why him, why does he deserve to feel like his job is on the line everyday, why can’t he catch a break?” I tell Matt that I want to kick his boss in the crotch. Sorry so blunt, but it is true. It’s ok though, maybe they just see his amazing potential, and so they are working him even harder to bring that out. As much as I DISAGREE with bossing someone by fear, maybe that is there way and we need to be humble and deal with the situation with patience.

Our expenses seem to keep adding up. The shower head plumbing piece (sorry I am a girl and this is how I explain things I don’t understand) just breaks in half and it is so corroded we can’t get it out. No shower now. We need a plumber, but he would have to tear down the entire wall to fix it. SO EXPENSIVE! Our air conditioning doesn’t work, we don’t even own a kitchen table, Maddie needs a mattress for her big girl bed, we need to renew out Costco membership cuz Maddie needs more diapers, we need a double stroller and many other new baby things, oh and we need to pay for the baby itself when she arrives in the hospital. HOW IS ALL THIS POSSIBLE? Everything will be ok though; Matt will make some commission’s cuz he is working so hard, right? Matt mentions to me that night that maybe I will have to go back to work. I was overwhelmed with sadness when he said that to me. I feel VERY strongly about being a SAHM (Stay at home Mom). Mentally and emotionally it is wearing on me, but I know it is what is right and this time is for my kids and not for me. I decided to bring them into the world and therefore need to make it possible for them to be raised by the person that brought them here and for them to feel all the love that I can possibly contain inside for them. I don’t care if we can’t afford everything that I would want to, I brought them here and I will make this world the best for them that it can possibly be and try my hardest to set an admirable example. I could go off on this subject for hours, but that will suffice.

We wake up the next morning in our brand new house and community and both of our cars are gone; they towed them. $500 to get them out. My WONDERFUL neighbor from church lets me borrow her car seat, since that was in the car. My amazing Dad zooms over and drives us everywhere, so that we can have cars for the day till we get our cars released.

Do you see how I am torn? Look at all the blessings I have. I have the most incredible fam and extended fam. I have an amazing husband and a daughter who brings light everywhere that she goes. I have another bundle of joy on the way. We have the best friends who are there for us WHENEVER we need them. People from church are constantly calling and coming up to us to see how they can help. Really I have nothing to complain about. I HATE, HATE feeling sorry for myself.

Yet at the same time I still feel like I am drowning. Did I do something wrong, is Heavenly Father angry with me and all the difficult stuff that has happened was well deserved? Is he testing me to make sure that I will keep the faith? I feel so scared to bring another child into this world. I can barely balance life right now. Can I balance two kids? Can I give them the amount of love and attention they really deserve? Can we make ends meat here? Should I have never pushed the topic of living here in CA? Matt was willing to do anything to make me happy and did I just put him in a bad position and we ended up here and dug ourselves into a hole we cannot get out of?

Please do not feel sorry for me, or feel that I need a handout in anyway. Please also do not judge me and think that well, it was all your bad decisions that have lead you here and these are the consequences you have to pay. I was just looking for a place to vent and a listening ear. Some understanding I guess, cuz I feel like such a horrible person for feeling this way, but I do and needed to vent a little. I will ALWAYS keep my faith though and I KNOW that Heavenly Father always has our best interest at heart. Sometimes it is hard for me to understand what he has in store for us, but it has and will always work out if we stay strong, obedient and faithful.

Thanks for letting me vent and SO SORRY for the LLLLOOOOONNNNNNGGG post.

Feel free to vent w/me. I love to hear others stories, especially right now. Not that I hope anyone is passing through any difficulties. Don’t worry either, I know that the majority of people are probably enduring much more difficult hardships than me, I am not that vain, however, again, I just needed to vent.

Final Girls Bedroom Decisions.

After a lot of searching I finally decided on what decals and design type stuff I will putting in both of the girls rooms. I will show pics when everything is all said and done, however I wanted to show off what I finally chose. Some of the decals that I ideally wanted were already sold out, however that is my fault since it took me way too long to choose. We move in this Saturday, so I will include some pics of the house when everything is clean and ready to go. That might be a while however, since I am about to explode with this baby and unpacking will definitely not be quick. Enjoy:

So, Maddie's room is a lilac type color. We are keeping the little girl below white, but the flowers below will be blueberry blue and tangerine. The letters are the letters I already made for her before she was born. We might be changing the colors on those depending on what bedding I choose for her, but we will see.

So, the butterflies are for Myla's room over her crib. Her room is actually a light pink color to go with her bedding.

These flowers and the letters below are also for Myla's room. I will hang the letters on a string, or something like that. They are pretty small as well, the pic is a little misleading.

I hope you like them, but most of all I hope the girls like them. I am pretty sure they wont care much, but it makes me excited to decorate a bit. I am just not a stylish or creative person, so this stuff does not come naturally to me. We will see how it turns out. :)

Our Little Princess; Thank You Aunt Barbara :)

Matt's Aunt Barbara was so sweet and got Madeline a Cinderella dress for her 2nd Birthday and we wanted to show her how ADORABLE she looks in it. She loved it! We are including a little video as well, as long as it will download. We of course had to include Maddie's famous nakie pic and her obsession with singing to us at all times.

A week or so ago Maddie and I laid down on these double slides and stared up at the sky and just talked for a while. Ever since, she always wants to lay down outside, when it is starting to get dark, and stare at the sky, or stars. She did it with Matt tonight and I had to capture the moment.

Sorry the pics and the video are in no particular order. Enjoy :)